70+ Funny And Inspirational Unicorn Quotes

He plays with single women, and I play with single men. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

The unicorn is a mythical beast.

I call her la signora sometimes. Not for her to answer to, just for me, inside.

So you’re a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or giuseppe verdi.

Wherever they may have come from, and wherever they may have gone,
unicorns live inside the true believer’s heart.
Which means as long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.

You are here because fate invited you. You cannot go back the way you came. I suggest you go forward instead.

Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn.

I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy.

I found the hum of his computer rather soothing, but it was the complete lack of unicorn carcasses that really pulled the room together.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

I always thought they were fabulous monsters!” said the unicorn. “is it alive?”
“it can talk,” said haigha, solemnly.
the unicorn looked dreamily at alice, and said, “talk, child.”
alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began: “do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too! I never saw one alive before!”
“well, now that we have seen each other,” said the unicorn, “if you’ll believe in me, i’ll believe in you. Is that a bargain?.

The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.

It’s greener on the other side, but it’s rainbows and gold on mine. -.

Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!” Well, now that we have seen each other,” said the unicorn, “if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you.

A legend – now I am like a unicorn.

Be realistic with your expectations. I’d really like to cuddle a unicorn, but it aint going to happen.

Let us only hate hatred; and once give love a play, we will fall in love with a unicorn.

Sorry…I got distracted listening to you and hot glued myself to my unicorn

Why a unicorn? maybe the unicorn, too, is one of the men without women. I mean, i’ve never seen a unicorn couple. He — it has to be a he, right? — is always alone, sharp horn thrust toward the sky. Maybe we should adopt him as the symbol of men without women, of the loneliness we carry as our burden. Perhaps we should sew unicorn badges on our breast pockets and hats, and quietly parade down streets all over the world. No music, no flags, no ticker tape. Probably.

The lady amalthea beckoned, and the cat wriggled all over, like a dog, but he would not come near… She was offering her open palm to the crook-eared cat, but he stayed where he was, shivering with the desire to go to her”…[later, molly asked the cat] “why were you afraid to let her touch you? I saw you. You were afraid of her.”
“if she had touched me,” he said very softly, “i would have been hers and not my own, not ever again. I wanted her to touch me but I could not let her. No cat will… The price is more than a cat can pay.

Why did they go away, do you think? if there ever were such things.”
“who knows? times change. Would you call this age a good one for unicorns?”
“no, but I wonder if any man before us ever thought his time a good time for unicorns.

Sometimes we all need a unicorn to believe in. Sometimes we need a unicorn to believe in us.

Una ardilla es una rata, lo que un unicornio es una mula.

That is exactly what heroes are for. Wizards make no difference, so they say that nothing does, but heroes are meant to die for unicorns.

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view

:i am topaz,: the unicorn on the hill haughtily announced, :and this is my vale.:
:i was not aware unicorns could own vales,: wareska linked.
the unicorn stiffened, and even from this distance, wareska could see her bright, golden eyes narrow dangerously. :now you know,: she said with quiet menace.

I might act like a rhinoceros, but i’m a unicorn.

The unicorn was white, with hoofs of silver and graceful horn of pearl… The glorious thing about him was his eye. There was a faint bluish furrow down each side of his nose, and this led to the eye sockets, and surrounded them in a pensive shade. The eyes, circled by this sad and beautiful darkness, were so sorrowful, lonely, gentle and nobly tragic, that they killed all other emotions except love.

…no place is more enchanted than where a unicorn has been born.

Magical, unbelievably magical, unicorns practically breathed magic. He was to a horse what a horse was to a pig. Four tiny cloven hooves shone like burnished silver, slender legs as graceful as an antelope’s led to a slender body, a delicate neck with an arch like the stem of a lily-blossom and a head like the blossom itself, crowned with that glorious pearly horn. And the eyes- big golden-brown eyes you could fall into and never come out of-
‘it’s a male unicorn, andie.’ her brain prompted her with that information. ‘male unicorns are attracted to female virgins, female unicorns are attracted to male virgins.

The unicorns were the most recognizable magic the fairies possessed, and they sent them to those worlds where belief in the magic was in danger of falling altogether. After all there has to be some belief in magic- however small- for any world to survive.

There’s a lot of loose thinking about magic. People go around talking about mystic harmonies and cosmic balances and unicorns, all of which is to real magic what a glove puppet is to the royal shakespeare company.

real magic is the hand around the bandsaw, the thrown spark in the powder keg, the dimension-warp linking you straight into the heart of a star, the flaming sword that burns all the way down to the pommel. Sooner juggle torches in a tar pit than mess with real magic. Sooner lie down in front of a thousand elephants.

This is the violet hour, the hour of hush and wonder, when the affectations glow and valor is reborn, when the shadows deepen along the edge of the forest and we believe that, if we watch carefully, at any moment we may see the unicorn.

Baz has stopped glaring at penelope and started glaring at me. “what on earth are you drinking, snow?”
“a unicorn frappuccino.”
he frowns. “why’s it called that—does it taste like lavender?”
“it tastes like strawberry dip dab,” I say.
penny’s grimacing at baz. “for heaven’s snakes, basil, I can’t believe you know what unicorns taste like.”
“shut up, bunce, it was sustainably farmed.”
“unicorns can talk!”
“they’re only capable of small talk; it’s not like eating a dolphin.”
baz takes my frappuccino and sucks down a huge gulp. “disgusting.” he hands it back to me. “not like a unicorn at all.

It’s a little-known fact, but unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.

I really am a unicorn?’ I asked again.

‘you think janis and I escaped from an asylum, don’t you?’ she teased.

‘i hope you’re not,’ I said, horrified at the thought of being turned into a lunatic like them.

They’ll say you are bad
or perhaps you are mad
or at least you
should stay undercover.
your mind must be bare
if you would dare
to think you can love
more than one lover.

It’s like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Take criticism, smash it into dust. Add color and use it to paint breathtaking images of unicorns frolicking through endless fields of greatness.

Yes. The elven magi are very old, but not old enough to remember that all of this has happened before.”
parmida frowned. “just how old are you?”
“i am older than a thousand of your suns,” the unicorn answered.
“. . . And that means?.

Unicorns are immortal. It is their nature to live alone in one place: usually a forest where there is a pool clear enough for them to see themselves — for they are a little vain, knowing themselves to be the most beautiful.

Swingers are couples, but the lifestyle allow single men and single women at parties as well. Single men are called bulls. Single women are unicorns.

We are not always what we seem, and hardly ever what we dream.

Poetry is news brought to the mountains by a unicorn and an echo.

I’m not trying to impress you,” he replied, glancing up at the front of the room. “gads,” he said, blinking in surprise. “what is that ?”
hyacinth followed his gaze. Several of the pleinsworth progeny, one of whom appeared to be costumed as a shepherdess, were milling about.
“now that’s an interesting coincidence,” gareth murmured.
“it might be time to start bleating,” she agreed.
“i thought this was meant to be a poetry recitation.”
hyacinth grimaced and shook her head. “an unexpected change to the program, i’m afraid.”
“from iambic pentameter to little bo peep?” he asked doubtfully. “it does seem a stretch.”
hyacinth gave him a rueful look. “i think there will still be iambic pentameter.”
his mouth fell open. “from peep?”
she nodded, holding up the program that had been resting in her lap. “it’s an original composition,” she said, as if that would explain everything. “by harriet pleinsworth.the shepherdess, the unicorn, and henry viii .”
“all of them? at once?”
“i’m not jesting,” she said, shaking her head.
“of course not. Even you couldn’t have made this up.”
hyacinth decided to take that as a compliment.
“why didn’t I receive one of these?” he asked, taking the program from her.
“i believe it was decided not to hand them out to the gentlemen,” hyacinth said, glancing about the room. “one has to admire lady pleinsworth’s foresight, actually. You’d surely flee if you knew what was in store for you.

Life’s not easy for unicorns, you know. We’re a dying breed.

I think it’s vital that we do not sleep together. You know, for the safety of the world.” his eyes sparkled and there was just a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
“okay,” I said, and smiled back at him. “but kissing is allowed, right?”
“oh, definitely,” he said, pulling me close. “after all, the warrior always wins the heart of the fair young…man.

O dieses ist das tier, das es nicht giebt.
sie wußtens nicht und habens jeden falls
– sein wandeln, seine haltung, seinen hals,
bis in des stillen blickes licht – geliebt.

zwar war es nicht. Doch weil sie’s liebten, ward
ein reines tier. Sie ließen immer raum.
und in dem raume, klar und ausgespart,
erhob es leicht sein haupt und brauchte kaum

zu sein

è questo l’animale favoloso,
che non esiste. Non veduto mai,
ne amaron le movenze, il collo, il passo:
fino la luce dello sguardo calmo.
pure “non era”. Ma perchè lo amarono,
divenne. Intatto. Gli lasciavan sempre
più spazio. E in quello spazio chiaro, etereo:
serbato a lui – levò, leggiero, il capo.

and here we have the creature that is not.
but they did not allow this , and as it happens
– his gait and bearing, his arched neck,
even the light in his eyes – they loved it all.

yet truly he was not. But because they loved him
the beast was seen. And always they made room.
and in that space, empty and unbounded,
he raised an elegant head, yet hardly fought

for his existence.

oh ! c’est elle, la bête qui n’existe pas.
eux, ils n’en savaient rien, et de toutes façons
– son allure et son port, son col et même la lumière
calme de son regard – ils l’ont aimée.

elle, c’est vrai, n’existait point. Mais parce qu’ils l’aimaient
bête pure, elle fut. Toujours ils lui laissaient l’espace.
et dans ce clair espace épargné, doucement,
elle leva la tête, ayant à peine besoin d’être.

A smart person is not one that knows the answers, but one who knows where to find them…

Be a diamond studded unicorn
unbreakable & unique.

I think that if you have a horse, pegasus, qilin, or unicorn, you should sit on it! you should stroke its hair, whisper in its ear, be one with it! and you shouldn’t feel sorry if other people don’t have one.

Is there n-nothing you can do?” parmida asked, wiping her tears away with the heel of her hand.
the unicorn laughed softly. “she asks for a boon after shooting me in the *ss.

I suppose I could understand it if men had simply forgotten unicorns, or if they had changed so that they hated all unicorns now and tried to kill them when they saw them. But not to see them at all, to look at them and see something else-what do they look like to one another, then? what do trees look like to them, or houses, or real horses, or their own children?.

Toads are to dragons what carrots are to unicorns.

Emeth came walking forward into the open strip of grass between the bonfire and the stable. His eyes were shining, his face was solemn, his hand was on his sword-hilt, and he carried his head high. Jill felt like crying when she looked at his face. And jewel whispered in the king’s ear, “by the lion’s mane, I almost love this young warrior, calormene though he be. He is worthy of a better god than tash.

Oh please,” scout said.”don’t take that tone with me. You know you’d love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and call. Someone to do your bidding. How many times have you said to yourself,” self, I need a unicorn to run errands and such?.

But is the unicorn a falsehood? it’s the sweetest of animals and a noble symbol. It stands for christ and for chastity; it can be captured only by setting a virgin in the forest, so that the animal, catching her most chaste odor, will go and lay its head in her lap, offering itself as prey to the hunters’ snares.”

“so it is said, adso. But many tend to believe that it’s a fable, an invention of the pagans.”

“what a disappointment,” I said. “i would have liked to encounter one, crossing a wood. Otherwise what’s the pleasure of crossing a wood?.

Unicorns are bad. So, so bad.” i’m dying. I just slapped a unicorn.
“your loss, baby. In case you haven’t noticed, i’m hung like a horse.”
kyrin snorts disgustedly.
i clap my hands over my ears. But it’s too late. Unicorns are ruined for me. My childhood dream just got crushed by a unicorn’s boner.

Theres something about girls and unicorns thats deep and meaningful. Something about childhood.

It wouldn’t be a unicorn without a horn. That’s what the word means! uni, for one. And then corn for, you know, horn. One-horned.”
“yeah, but they’re supposed to be all peaceful and nice. Why would a unicorn need a horn? what’s it do with it?”
mini turned red. “i dunno. For shooting off magic and stuff.”
“or they use it to maul things.”
“thats horrible, aru” they’re unicorns. They’re perfect.

This, then, is the beast that has never actually been:
not having seen one, they prized in any case
its perfect poise, its throat, the straightforward gaze it gave them back—so straightforward, so serene.

since it had never been, it was all the more
unsullied. And they allowed it such latitude
that, in a clearing in the wood,
it raised its head as if its essence shrugged off mere

existence. They brought it on, not with oats or corn,
but with the chance, however slight,
that it would come on its own. This gave it such strength

that from its brow there sprang a horn. A single horn.
only when it met a maiden’s white with white
would it be bodied out in her, in her mirror’s full length.

I didn’t know unicorns had names,” I said. “i didn’t know they ever loved people.”
“they don’t. Only this one.” he turned and walked away swiftly, saying over his shoulder, “her name was amalthea.

Now I will believe that there are unicorns.

Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever; a happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.

With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

Unicorns practically breathed magic. He was to a horse what a horse was to a pig. Four tiny cloven hooves shone like burnished silver, slender legs as graceful as an antelope’s led to a slender body, a delicate neck with an arch like the stem of a lily-blossom and a head like the blossom itself, crowned with that glorious pearly horn. And the eyes- big golden-brown eyes you could fall into and never come out of-
‘it’s a male unicorn, andie.’ her brain prompted her with that information. ‘male unicorns are attracted to female virgins, female unicorns are attracted to male virgins.

Luster, bring me home.

The unicorn: the saintly hermit, midway through his prayers
stopped suddenly, and raised his eyes to witness
the unbelievable: for there before him stood
the legendary creature, startling white, that
had approached, soundlessly, pleading with his eyes.

the legs, so delicately shaped, balanced a
body wrought of finest ivory. And as
he moved, his coat shone like reflected moonlight.
high on his forehead rose the magic horn, the sign
of his uniqueness: a tower held upright
by his alert, yet gentle, timid gait.

the mouth of softest tints of rose and grey, when
opened slightly, revealed his gleaming teeth,
whiter than snow. The nostrils quivered faintly:
he sought to quench his thirst, to rest and find repose.
his eyes looked far beyond the saint’s enclosure,
reflecting vistas and events long vanished,
and closed the circle of this ancient mystic legend.

He knew what she wanted, and he wanted it, too; he was ready, but not, despite her gorgeousness, with tiglah. Tiglah was not worth losing his ability to touch a unicorn.

The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you’re probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, if you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you’re probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.

I had My Little Ponies. I was obsessed with the idea of a creature that was born with something magical that sort of made them the misfit in the world of the stallion. I’m actually quite obsessed with unicorns. They are in essence a mythical creature. The unicorn is born magical and it’s not the unicorn’s fault and it doesn’t make it any more or less special or any less unique but it can’t help that it was born with that magic.

A man breaking his journey between one place and another at a third place of no name, character, population or significance, sees a unicorn cross his path and disappear. That in itself is startling, but there are precedents for mystical encounters of various kinds, or to be less extreme, a choice of persuasions to put it down to fancy; until–“my god,” says a second man, “i must be dreaming, I thought I saw a unicorn.” at which point, a dimension is added that makes the experience as alarming as it will ever be. A third witness, you understand, adds no further dimension but only spreads it thinner, and a fourth thinner still, and the more witnesses there are the thinner it gets and the more reasonable it becomes until it is as thin as reality, the name we give to the common experience… “look, look!” recites the crowd. “a horse with an arrow in its forehead! it must have been mistaken for a deer.

Stay out of drama. Respect the rules. And don’t play with a man who has a jealous girlfriend.

Sleep is like the unicorn – it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any

My father doesn’t ask why i’m in the back after the first morning rush, making green and purple sugar paste for pan dulce. He’s working on a batch of unicorn conchas, his latest stroke of genius, pan dulce covered with shells of pink, purple, and blue sugar that sell out every weekend.

Unicorns,” I said. “very dangerous. You go first.

Be a unicorn, not a twatapotamus.

If she had touched me,” he said very softly, “i would have been hers and not my own, not ever again. I wanted her to touch me but I could not let her. No cat will. We let human beings caress us because it is pleasant enough and calms them – but not her. The price is more than a cat can pay.

And at last she woke up in the middle of one warm night and said, “yes, but now.

. . . You can read my mind,” parmida realized.
“when it is open to me,” azra admitted apologetically. “. . . I love you too, by the way.

But it isn’t a rough draft either. The one I turned in several months ago was rough. There were some bad plot holes, some logical inconsistencies, pacing problems, and not nearly enough lesbian unicorns.

But the important thing is for you to understand that it doesn’t matter whether the clock strikes ten next, or fifteen o’clock. You can strike your own time, and start the count anywhere. When you can understand that — then any time at all will be the right time for you.

The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone. She was very old, though she did not know it, and she was no longer the careless color of sea foam but rather the color of snow falling on a moonlit night. But her eyes were still clear and unwearied, and she still moved like a shadow on the sea.