Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.

Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”. Even if the plan is horrifying!

If you’re good at something, never do it for free.

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos…

What doesn’t kill you, simply makes you stranger!

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just… *do* things.

Tell your men they work for me now, this is my city!

It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message. Everything burns!

Let’s put a smile on that face!

Those mob fools want you gone. So they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth, there’s no going back. You’ve changed things…forever.

And I thought my jokes were bad.

The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight, you’re gonna break your one rule.

Do you want to know why I use a knife? You see, guns are too quick. You can’t savor all of the little…emotions. In their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way…I knew your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?

Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos, I’m an agent of chaos , and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair.

I don’t wanna kill you, what would I do without you? Go back to rippin’ off mob dealers… no, no, no… no you, you complete me.

You can’t rely on anyone these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don’t we? That’s ok, I came prepared, it’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?

I took gotham’s white knight and I brought ‘im down to our level. Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity, all it takes is a little push.

If the police expect to play against the Joker, they’d better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!

Very neat! That ugly head of yours does have a brain!

One by One, they’ll hear my call. Then this wicked town, will follow my fall.

Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away… forever.

They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line up the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dance routine — and it would never be enough. No, I don’t keep count. But you do. And I love you for it.

April sweet is coming in, let the feast of fools begin!

Parting is such sweet sorrow, dearest. Still, you can’t say we didn’t show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there… in the asylum. Just don’t forget — if it ever gets too tough… there’s always a place for you here.

And he didn’t die all at once. It was hours before the screaming stopped. I almost didn’t get to sleep that night. That was the last time I’d used crushed glass…

Live…and in person! The Caliph of Clowns, the Grand Mogul of Mountebanks, the One and Only JOKER! Prerecorded for this time zone.

The real joke is your stubborn, bone deep conviction that somehow, somewhere, all of this makes sense! That’s what cracks me up each time!

Haven’t you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.

The pen, is truly mightier than the sword!

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which *were* true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He *was* a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He’s dead now, and he’s left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough – but one thing I am not, is a *killer*. I am an artist. I *love* a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival!

I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist.

As though we were made for each other… Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I’ll rip their lungs out.

I’m of a mind to make some mookie.

See, this is how crazy Batman’s made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn’t, people will die, starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.

It’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?

They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out like a leper!

Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick.

It’s not about money, it’a about sending a message. Everything burns!

We stopped checking for monsters under our bed, when we realized they were inside us.

The only sensible way to live is without rules.

I’m different, f*ck your opinion.

I like you, but I want to kill you.

Does it depress you? To know just how alone you really are.

You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.

Would ya like fries with that.

Tell me something, my friend, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

As my plastic surgeon always says; If you gotta go, go with a smile.

It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.

When Gotham is ashes, you have my permission to die.

You are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father. I swore to them that I would protect you, and I haven’t.

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

I knew Harvey Dent. I was his friend. And it will be a very long time before someone… Inspires us the way he did. I believed in Harvey Dent.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Drive sports cars, date movie stars, buy things that are not for sale… who knows, Master Wayne? You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident.

Bats frighten me. It’s time my enemies share my dread.

Perhaps the knife was too slow.

Tell me where the trigger is, then you have my permission to die.

You’ll hunt me. You’ll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because that’s what needs to happen. Because sometimes truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can’t do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man I’m flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be destroyed, but as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.

It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

I’m whatever Gotham needs me to be.

Not everything. Not yet.

I won’t kill you, but I don’t I have to save you.

A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat on a young boy’s shoulders to let him know the world hadn’t ended.

It’s not about what I want. It’s about what’s fair!

The public likes you. That’s the only reason that this might fly, but it’s all on you. They’re all gonna come after you, now. Politicians, journalists, cops. Anyone whose wallet is about to get tight. Are you up for it? You better be. Cause if they get anything on you, those criminals are put back on the streets, followed swiftly by you and me.

Because we have to chase him. Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now, so we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Dark Knight.

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Gambol: You’re just a freak in a cheap suit.
Joker: The suit, it ain’t cheap, you oughta know you bought it.

Carbon fibre, 28 calibre, Made in China, if you want to kill a public servant Mr Maroni i recommend you buy American.

Alfred: Shall you be taking the Batpod sir?
Batman/Bruce Wayne: In the middle of the day Alfred?
Alfred: The Lamborghini then? Much more subtle.

Batman/Bruce Wayne: That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when, uh, I said I wanted to inspire people.
Alfred: I know.

Batman/Bruce Wayne: Targeting me won’t get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn’t go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred: You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.

This city just showed you that it’s full of people ready to believe in good.

Gotham, take control… take control of your city. Behold, the instrument of your liberation! Identify yourself to the world!

Some men aren’t looking for anything logical like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.

It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us.

Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.

Why so serious?

You’re not the devil. You’re practice

You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time! But you were wrong. The world is cruel.

It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Now’s not the time for fear. That comes later.

The first time I stole so that I wouldn’t starve, I lost many assumptions about the simple nature of right and wrong. And when I traveled, I learned the fear before a crime and the thrill of success. But I never became one of them.

A criminal is not complicated. What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power. You fear your anger, the drive to do great or terrible things.

Justice is balance. You burned my house and left me for dead. Consider us even.

Bruce…if you turn yourself in, they’re not gonna let us be together.

You care about justice? Look beyond your own pain, Bruce. This city is rotting. People talk about the depression as if it’s history. It’s not. Things are worse than ever down here.

They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I’ve looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge… Me.

You cannot lead these men unless you are prepared to do what is necessary to defeat evil.

Bats may be, but even for billionaire playboys, three o’clock is pushing it. The price of leading a double life, I fear. Your theatrics made an impression.

A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification. He can be destroyed, or locked up. But if you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can’t stop you, then you become something else entirely.

You have learned to bury your guilt with anger. I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth. You know how to fight six men. We can teach you how to engage six hundred. You know how to disappear. We can teach you to become truly invisible.