I drink to make other people more interesting.

Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all.

When the hour is nigh me,
Let me in a tavern die,
With a tankard by me.

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that’s a tough call. That’s rebellion.

It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where your going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice.

Let me be the first to tell you, drinking alcohol is the worst thing to do in cold weather. Hot soup is the best because the process of digesting food helps to warm you up.

I hate the taste of alcohol. When I’m drinking, I’m drinking Red Bull.

Ho! ho! ho! to the bottle I go
to heal my heart and drown my woe
rain may fall, and wind may blow
and many miles be still to go
but under a tall tree will I lie
and let the clouds go sailing by.

I must entreat you to be scrupulous in the use of strong liquors. One night’s drunkenness may defeat the labours of forty days well employed.

One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

After a natural disaster, safe drinking water is a priority. Humans can live longer without food than water, so communication about clean water is essential to help avoid the risk of cholera, dysentery, malnutrition, famine, and death.

I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, i’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

I do like beer, but lately I’ve started drinking non-alcoholic beer and I like the taste of it and I don’t get the alcohol, so that’s a good alternative also.

Drink moderately, for drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise.

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘sir! you are drunk’, to which I replied ‘i am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Oh, you hate your job? why didn’t you say so?
there’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.

I can dance for, like, four or five hours nonstop without even drinking water. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

It’s solitary drinking that makes drunkards.

Our kids have to understand that drinking underage is a poor decision that could drastically affect their chances to achieve the goals they’ve set.

I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

If you ever know a man who tries to drown his sorrows, kindly inform him his sorrows know how to swim.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031].

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer.

I like to have a martini,
two at the very most.
after three i’m under the table,
after four i’m under my host.

I’ve never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks.

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

Drinking water is like washing out your insides. The water will cleanse the system, fill you up, decrease your caloric load and improve the function of all your tissues.

Drinking habits were very prevalent among men, and were not in any way disgraceful, unless excessive.

Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of ?I?m listening.?

Death: “there are better things in the world than alcohol, albert.”
albert: “oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

I watch people around me not drinking any water all day, and I turn into the water police. I’m constantly asking, ‘Are you drinking water?’ Being dehydrated very quickly affects my energy.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an Oxymoron.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don’t drink in moderation.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.

Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot.

My perfect morning is spent drinking coffee, eating porridge and reading the paper at a local cafe.

My idea of working out is drinking whiskey – instead of beer.

There cannot be good living where there is no good drinking.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.

It’s not the drinking to be blamed, but the excess.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

It is critical that parents and other trusted adults initiate conversations with kids about underage drinking well in advance of the first time they are faced with a decision regarding alcohol.

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.

People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

By polluting clear water with slime you will never find good drinking water.

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.