Here’s a selection of Dodgeball Quotes, covering topics such as Cotton, Pepper, White Goodman, sport and inspiration.
We really hope you enjoy these quotes and that they give you something to think about.
Cotton: It looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself.
Pepper: Yeah, he will not be able to see very well, Cotton.
Pepper: Yeah, he will not be able to see very well, Cotton.
Pepper Brooks: Pepper needs new shorts, Cotton!
Cotton McKnight: Right you are, Pep.
Cotton McKnight: Right you are, Pep.
You are th one who stares at me. Why is this?
Steve’s gotta go drain the sea-monster.
There’s a room full of guys and a lezbo counting on you!
I’m not sure who invented dodgeball, but I can almost guarantee you that it wasn’t the shortest kid in the class.
Forget about where you want to be and go out and build stuff. Dodgeball came from being bored at work… things happen because you make them happen. Stop sketching, and start building.
Last I heard, my gym makes money. Yours doesn’t. My gym’s worth over $4 million. Your gym isn’t worth four. I have shareholders. You haven’t even got cup holders.
I know you. You know you. You know that I know that I know you.
Thats me grabbing the bull by the horns…its a metaphor
We shouldn’t be shackled up the employer/employee relationship…unless you’re into that kind of stuff a ha ha, cause I got some shackles in the back! a ha ha, just kidding, but really, I got them.
It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there.
I just talked to White Goodman today, and his team REALLY wants to win this one.
If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.
Owen: I’m gonna catch up with you guys later. I’m gonna have a bathroom… go to the drink… in the bathroom.
Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands.
Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands.
Because at Globo Gym, We’re better than you! And we know it.
You’re going down like a sweet muffin!
Kate, it’s time for you to put your mouth where our balls are.
Cotton: It appears that Average Joe’s is forfeiting the final match.
Pepper: That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.
Pepper: That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.
Cram it up your cramhole, LaFleur!
Las Vegas. A city built of hot sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where you can get a happy ending, if you pay a little extra. A city home to a sporting event greater than the World Cup, World Series and World War II combined.
I think most politicians could take a dodgeball in the face.
Peter: I think the lady asked you to leave.
White Goodman: This doesn’t concern you, La Fleur.
Peter: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that’s for sure.
White Goodman: This doesn’t concern you, La Fleur.
Peter: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that’s for sure.
I drink my own urine cause it’s sterile and it tastes good.
(At the Bar) O hey White, I didnt know Nazi camp got out until 8…did you decide to skip arts and craft?
Ooh, Ouchtown, population you, bro!
You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lolly pop.
( Peter Lafleur blindfold himself) that’s a bold strategy cotton I wonder if it will pay off
Learn the five d’s of dodgeball: dodge duck dip dive and dodge
Here at Globo Gym we’re better than you, and we know it.
I love the smell of queef in the morning.
Too bad Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony” card.
Patches O’
Houlihan: Always remember the five d’
s of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
Houlihan: Always remember the five d’
s of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
Uh, actually I decided to quit… Lance.
Maybe we could pay it off in Canadian Dollars and save ourselves some money!
Cotton McKnight: And the Average Joe’s beat the Germans in a *shocking* upset.
Pepper Brooks: I feel *shocked*.
Pepper Brooks: I feel *shocked*.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!
Dwight: We could sell blood and semen.
Dwight: What? Not mixed together.
Dwight: What? Not mixed together.
Peter La Fleur:
Thank you Chuck NorrisChuck Norris: No Peter, thank you
Thank you Chuck NorrisChuck Norris: No Peter, thank you
Your True Nature Is Love. There’s Nothing You Can Do About It.
Peter: Thank you, Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris: Thank you Peter.
Chuck Norris: Thank you Peter.
..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different
Cotton McKnight: It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe’s into the proverbial pumpkin.
Pepper Brooks: I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.
Pepper Brooks: I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.
You’re adopted, you’re parents don’t even love you.
Come on! I’ve got better runs in my shorts!
We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras… and we will, we will, rock you!
Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.
Dwight: Bad morning, boss?
Peter La Fleur: They usually follow good nights, Dwight.
Peter La Fleur: They usually follow good nights, Dwight.
I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya it feels phenomenal.
Ignore reality, there’s nothing you can do about it.
At Globo Gym we understand that “ugliness” and “fatness” are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.
Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was.
I guess you’re right, I’m not really a Pirate.
Sometimes you gotta grab life by the haunches and hump it into submission.
It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
You’re about as useful as a poopie-flavored lollipop.
Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Blade… Laser… Blazer…
Hey White. You look awful fat in those pants.
Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn’t occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!
There’s no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I’m just kidding. But seriously, I’ve got ’em.
White Goodman: This doesn’t concern you, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does.
White Goodman: Well, that’s it. Good guy wins. Bad guy loses. Big freagin’ surprise. That’
s the problem with the American cinema: Can’t handle any complexity. “Whoa! Don’t make me think!
s the problem with the American cinema: Can’t handle any complexity. “Whoa! Don’t make me think!
Cotton McKnight: Average Joe’s has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven’t even smelled a woman in eight months.
Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.
Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.
Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary?
White Goodman: Oh, you caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.
White Goodman: Oh, you caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.
Wait, you’re telling me that there’s a guy who dresses like a pirate on our team?
Anyone with an ailment or who wears glasses or anyone slightly different suddenly wears a bull’s eye. I think that dodgeball derailed an entire generation of Americans. It’s the true red menace.
Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you think that I thought that I thought I was once.
Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.
I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you’re fat or have glasses, don’t show up because you’ll die.
Cotton McKnight: Looks like it’s gonna be a two-on-one, a ménage à trois of pain.
Pepper Brooks: Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.
Pepper Brooks: Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.
Your “gym” is a skidmark on the underpants of society.
I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t have anything to regret for the rest of their life.
And they love you. Whoo, do they love you. You’re their Fonzie, Pete. “Heeeeey.” Right?
Remember the 5 D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and uh…Dodge!
Peter La Fleur: Hey, White. I didn’t think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
White Goodman: Yes, I did.
White Goodman: Yes, I did.
Justin: Steve! Where is it you go to do… whatever it is that you do?
Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe’s be the only place for me!
Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe’s be the only place for me!
Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn’t sell you your gym back for all of King Midas’ silver.
Now, I figured that the built-up gas in most boys’ locker rooms was enough to cause an explosion, so I wasn’t surprised when the flaming dodgeball ignited a huge WHOOOOOOOM!
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump some doorknobs out there.
White Goodman: Donde esta la biblioteca, Pedro?
Peter La Fleur: What?
White Goodman: I’m thinking of opening a new Globo Gym down in Mexico City, so I’ve been boning up on my Spanish.
Peter La Fleur: What?
White Goodman: I’m thinking of opening a new Globo Gym down in Mexico City, so I’ve been boning up on my Spanish.
I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.
I Play Dodgeball with Cannibals (Chapter 2)
Will someone catch a goddam ball! It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!
Kate Veatch: I’m not a banker, I’m a lawyer.
Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?
Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.
Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?
Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.
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